when jebondz wears nothing at all

The traffic’s surged suddenly for the past 24 hours, perhaps the old timers to this site of 8 years know the specialness of every 1st June holds.

I have never put any interviews (published in medias or not) here as far as I can remember, although there are few when I was in far east country back then. But if I could interview myself and be fair not to ask something that I already know the answer, perhaps I can be spared from self-delusion illness and having split-identity. It’s like an old saying – a wise will wait until how a lady would drive a car in a traffic jam.

Question :
How do you feel about another year added into ‘age’ when you feel up a form ?

Answer :
Technically, I can make it more chaotic if I put it wrongly either it will be handled by a human or a machine; a human will be confused whether my ID number is incorrect or I am too old to remember what year it is, and for machines it will crash and burn just like Y2K bugs. Emotionally, I have to accept that a number will go up and I can’t call my mechanic to reset the odometer or the mileage meter whenever I want to sell my car. I sa-

Q :
Wait, your car ? How many and how wealthy are you ?

A :
I’m running my own business, it has been ups and downs, and my loved ones know better about the situation more than anyone could comprehend. My colleagues, sometimes people would refer it to ‘staffs’, are always there since the ice age albeit they can find a very greener grass on the other side. Sometimes I’m not sure why they stick with me, although I know they’re there because they believe in me. Sometimes when myself in doubt, they know it is half-way full. At the moment, I am very cash strapped and have to manage the financial part very carefully, as they are few very high-profile works queuing. So I could say I am worthless but I do very valuable stuffs.

Q :
Righhttttttttt. Now where do you put yourself right now ?

A :
When I was going to 4th grade, I was isolated by my own friends simply just because I belonged to a ‘smarter’ group. I thought it’ll never happen again, but it did happened when I started going to a boarding school at Form 4 secondary school, simply just because I am not one of the pioneers from Form 1. I was proven wrong to myself again when I attended Far East Special Preparatory Program before heading to the far east; simply just because I missed the orientation period and registered very late due to bureaucratic process, and simply just because I am from ‘jungle-people’ among West Malaysians who never visited East Malaysia before. I then flew to a foreign land in the far east, where they treated any Malaysians better than any other nationalities but majority are still afraid of foreigners like me maybe just because I have a smaller dick than African-American ‘default’ penis size. Some approached because they felt sorry for World War II, some just pure arrogant and kinky. Post 9/11 was a bit memorable and scary, and when I came back to Malaysia I was a bit isolated because most of my batch does not believe in themselves except their employers, thus I was alone and still alone doing what I believe works best.

So I am where I am right now, and I won’t be going anywhere. Well, I want to go to the loo..May I ?

Q :
Before you indulge and pleasing yourself with that, what happened on 1st of June ?

A :
A very surprise birthday ‘reminder’, as I hate the word ‘party’. It was planned without me knowing obviously, and almost everyone was there. Wished my family was there too, as I do miss them very much. To Fy, thank you very much for the surprise :) And here is one of the picture candidly taken, and I am blessed with few ladies surrounding me.

Q :
May I know their phone number ?

A :
*unzipping pants and start oozing*

I was born nearly 33 years ago, naked at birth and I shall wears only a piece of white cloth covering my cold body in the end of life.

That is how it was started, and that is how it will gonna be. Every starting has an end, but not every ending starts before it ends. Everything has their own reasons, so that everything is not just about anything. In the end, everything is just a start out of anything.

My parents taught me well; that everything can’t be taught but has to be learned through time. Endless and priceless advices were and still given to me from time to time, protecting myself from myself. The enemy of a one is nothing more than their own-self. Respecting the enemy wouldn’t make us weak, respecting ourselves as the enemy would just make us stronger.

I wasn’t that successful in education as my parents hoped me to be, much of myself are very proud of the achievements of my siblings in their doings. Much of their success are visibly gauged better compared to mine. Each of my weakness and failure are their alley to success, and each of my triumph would shine their path from bleak.

If a successful persona blankets their stories with failures and triumphs, I am in not in need to wait. If a life breathe itself when the lungs breathe out, then it might be too late for such a blanket to settle down in subtle. Truth to be told, there are many times of my life conquered by triumphs over the real trophy in hand; simply by projecting the glitters to the eyes of beholders were the easiest thing to do than actually doing it.

And so I was thought.

More than half of my life was spent wastefully on impressing other people, including my own family. There were at one point lies were created just because it was easy to do, and furthermore the respect will be crowned automatically even from the loved one. I lied because lies were very tasty. Only then, just like any other overdosed candy, the tooth ache came with no prior warning in hand. When the tooth went very bad, all I have to do and the only thing to do was to pull the tooth off. Bleed to shamefulness, the price was higher than any dentist in the world could charge.

But somehow along the way, I discovered my own specialness, my own gift; the lies that I made was a lie at that time. Let the lid for a while and the world will be able to see what is cooking inside. Just like any cook, no one trust the things that the cook puts until they taste the scent of the mixed ingredients in the end. I wouldn’t say I am an oracle, but each prediction or present-lies that I made eventually becoming the truth in the future, or at least it serves the purpose in the very first place. It is like to say to someone that they’ll be together with another person in the end, just to prove we were right that they will not when we know they won’t and their behaviour is/was as what we have expected in the very first place.

The knowledge of consequences is something that I am very good at, much to my own surprise.

Now I am practicing those and perfecting it in things that I work for a living. It is safe to say that I know what will happen in the next 4 or 5 years. It is also safe to say that 4, 5 years later on, we’ll know it was a lie before upon realizing that it is indeed the truth. If every ending has its own beginning, then the truth starts from the very first lie.

To both of my parents and my siblings, I am very sorry for the troubles and the mess that I’ve made. To my dad, happy birthday to you and thank you very much for your endless unconditional supports and love. Your wish has been fulfilled today, and it is for you.

:)